Beneath the outrage over Donald Trump's alleged history of sexual misconduct and Woman Who Does as Her Oppa Wishes (2024)assault, there is an eerie silence.
This low hum of nothingness lives under an initial response of indignation and horror. Those louder emotions, after all, are easy to articulate on social media and in conversation. But something more complex remains buried deep below the surface: a voice rendered quiet because it's choking on fear, grief and despair.
SEE ALSO: Watch Michelle Obama's entire speech on Trump and womenMichelle Obama seems to know this anguish well. When she stood on a stage in Manchester, New Hampshire, Thursday afternoon to denounce Trump, her voice faltered.
Like many of us, perhaps she saw dear friends report their own sexual assaults using a hashtag, and then wondered how a presidential election had become an inquiry into the abuse and suffering women endure at the hands of some men.
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Perhaps she, like you, reached for words to describe how this feels, but found them submerged in darkness. Each new allegation demonstrating how women are always vulnerable — on a plane, in an elevator, in a dressing room, at work, and, for journalists, even in an interview. So you surrender the words because searching for them has become agonizing.
Yet Obama emerged from those depths with a truth. Women, the first lady said, have knowledge, a voice and a vote. Come Nov. 8 they can declare "enough is enough."
They were pointed words for a presidential election campaign speech, but we live in an unusual time. As the first female presidential candidate looks to make history in less than a month, her opponent has revealed that it's easy to preach you respect women, but even easier to behave like a misogynist.
Obama hadn't been able to stop thinking about this contrast, she said, or about Trump's comments, which she wouldn't dare repeat.
"It has shaken me to my core in a way that I couldn't have predicted."
"It has shaken me to my core in a way that I couldn't have predicted," she said. "So while I'd love nothing more than to pretend like this isn't happening and come out here and do my normal campaign speech, it would be dishonest and disingenuous for me to move on to the next thing like this was just a bad dream."
This nightmare, she said, lives freely among us: a powerful individual speaking openly about sexually predatory behavior.
Trump and his defenders may dismiss his 2005 remarks, caught on a hot mic, as "locker room talk," but Obama knows better. It's not just an isolated incident but a pattern of behavior. Insults are tossed off to shame and ridicule women for their appearance; the audio recording reveals Trump bragging about sexual assault. Now his alleged victims are coming forward with accounts of lecherous behavior, unwanted advances and sexual misconduct, most of which he denies.
"I have to tell you that I listened to all this. And I feel it so personally," Obama said. "And I'm sure that many of you do too, particularly the women. The shameful comments about our bodies. The disrespect of our ambitions and intellect. The belief that you can do anything you want to a woman. It is cruel. It is frightening. And the truth is, it hurts. It hurts."
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For women, she pointed out, this kind of pain is common. They may feel safe, confident even, until they encounter the stranger in the street who crudely catcalls them, or the male co-worker who stands too close and gazes at their body too long, or the man who gets what he desires through force.
Each of us lives with the lingering threat of physical and sexual violence but tries to construct a reality in which those experiences are distant perils. Too many women watched that reality crumble in the last week as constant headlines became claustrophobic reminders that even the man running to lead our country does not respect women and their right to bodily autonomy. At the same time, Trump and his supporters blame the media, or Bill Clinton or Trump's alleged victims.
SEE ALSO: The Trump allegations have sparked a grim new Twitter trendThe emotional and psychological toll of this onslaught is excruciating, and Obama described that burden as only someone who's lived it for the past week could:
We are drowning. All of us are doing what women have always done. We're trying to keep our heads above water. Just trying to get through it. Trying to pretend like this doesn't really bother us. Maybe because we think that admitting how much it hurts makes us as women look weak. Maybe we're afraid to be that vulnerable. Maybe we've grown accustomed to swallowing these emotions and staying quiet. Because we've seen that people often won't take our word over his. Or maybe we don't want to believe that there's still people out there who think so little of us as women.
While we expect some men (and women) to consider the female sex inferior, we did not anticipate that a presidential candidate would turn our human potential into a circus of vulgarities. Aside from alleged sexual violence, that utter disrespect may be the most crushing aspect of the election for many women.
"Maybe we don't want to believe that there's still people out there who think so little of us as women."
It reaffirms something we've long known: Whatever equality we've managed to win could be stripped from us the moment it serves someone else's impulsive purpose — or political aspirations.
On Thursday, Obama insisted on a better future for this country, one in which "decent" men are role models for boys and girls and where women are treated with respect.
"[W]e have the power to show our children that America's greatness comes from recognizing the innate dignity and worth of all our people," she said.
And with that, Obama became the consoling voice, the steadying hand on our shoulder, the light that illuminates the darkness.
She refused to let silence win. And through that fearlessness she made a prayer of our pain.
"We need to recover from our shock and depression and do what women have always done in this country ... You need to get to work," she said. "Because remember this, when they go low, we go..." She trailed off to let the audience finish her thought. They shouted in unison the word high.
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