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Apple’s next big event is Erotic Vignette | Adult Movies OnlineTuesday, Oct. 13.

No, it won’t reveal any new iPads. That was the September event. And it might not show off its new silicon MacBooks — with Apple’s own ARM-based chips — until another event in November, according to Bloomberg's Mark Gurman.

What you’ll get on Tuesday are iPhones. A lot of iPhones. And there's a good chance Apple will reveal at least one new audio product, too. Here's a look at everything Apple could reveal this week, ranked by how excited you should be. We'll run through the expected new releases from least exciting to most.

5. AirTags

Ready, Apple fans? AirTags are tags that help you find your stuff. I assume you just fainted from excitement, so I’ll wait until you recover ...

...OK, so if you have used Tile trackers, you know the deal. You attach a Bluetooth-equipped tile to your keys, bag, or whatever, and when you can’t find it, you trigger a sound from your phone. (It works the other way, too. Double-press the Tile and your lost phone will make a sound.)

SEE ALSO: The 5 apps every Apple TV owner should install

AirTags should work in a similar way, but integrated with Apple’s Find My app. Perfect for the person who is, for some reason, constantly losing everything they own.

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Here's the catch: famed Apple rumor leaker Jon Prosser said recently they might not come out until 2021. Bummer?

4. HomePod mini

Nice, but expensive. Credit: lili sams/mashable

The HomePod looks great. It sounds great. It's just too damn expensive. At $299, it's too pricey for regular folks and not fancy enough for serious audiophiles. Now it looks like Apple is ready to compete against Amazon’s Echo and Google’s Nest Audio with the HomePod mini which, according to leaker Kang (via 9to5Mac), will be priced at $99.

It won’t be as big and powerful as the full-sized HomePod. But people might actually buy it.

3. iPhone 12 Pro Max

Phones not big enough for you these days? Then just wait for this giant. It's pretty much certain the iPhone 12 Pro Max will have a 6.7-inch screen, which is even bigger than the 6.5-inch iPhone 11 Pro Max. It’ll have three camera lenses (wide, ultra-wide, and telephoto) and a LiDAR sensor for enhanced Portrait mode and AR.

2. AirPods Studio

Yes, Apple already owns Beats. But I personally own a pair of Beats Studio³ headphones and … well, Apple can do better. A more balanced, well-constructed pair of headphones that pair as easily with Apple products as AirPods would be a godsend.

Prosser said Apple will release a leather and metal pair for $600, which … yikes. But he also claimed it’ll sell a sportier version for *only* $350, which is comparable in cost to the pair I already own. Sadly, Prosser also said Apple — despite earlier rumors — won’t reveal the latter at the October event.

1. iPhone mini

Finally, a flagship iPhone you can use with one hand. The iPhone SE has a small screen, but also giant bezels. The iPhone 12 mini, first of its kind, should have the same edge-to-edge display as the iPhone 12, just smaller. Here’s a breakdown of every iPhone 12 screen size:

• iPhone 12 mini: 5.4 inches

• iPhone 12: 6.1 inches

• iPhone 12 Pro: 6.1 inches

• iPhone 12 Pro Max: 6.7 inches

I’ve seen rumors putting the iPhone 12 mini price at $649 or $699. Both are good deals — especially considering it’s rumored to sport an OLED screen, unlike the similarly priced iPhone 11, which has an LCD display. If it has 5G connectivity, either mmWave or sub-6GHz (or both), that only sweetens the deal.

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