【Friend’s Mothers 4】

As Love Is Blindmakes its big return to screens,Friend’s Mothers 4 this time with UK-based contestants, the dating reality TV series has shone a light on an important health issue for many women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) people.

One of the show’s contestants, Demi — who sat in the pods talking to an array of eligible men on her quest for love — was refreshingly candid about her experiences of endometriosis and how it's impacted her dating life in the past.

One particular conversation with her fellow contestant Ollie is an important story and example of representation of the disease, inside and outside of romantic storylines on the show.

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What is endometriosis?

According to charity Endometriosis UK, endometriosis “is the name given to the disease where cells similar to the ones in the lining of the womb (uterus) are found elsewhere in the body”. This can lead to inflammation and the formation of scar tissue, and can cause a range of unpleasant symptoms: pelvic pain, painful periods, pain during or after sex, fatigue, an increased risk of having difficulty becoming pregnant, and more.

SEE ALSO: How to spice up your sex life when you have endometriosis

In the UK alone, around 1.5 million womenand AFAB people are currently living with the condition. Demi, a contestant on Love is Blind UK, is one of them.

Love Is Blind UK makes space to talk about endometriosis

In episode 3, when Ollie asks Demi what’s stopping her from connecting with him emotionally, she explains how her endometriosis has been a barrier in past relationships.

"I’ve always wanted a family and to be a good mum," she tells him. "It’s hard for me to naturally conceive because I’ve got endometriosis."

"Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enough which is really scary," Demi adds. "You really struggle each month – physically, mentally." She goes on to explain that fertility problems she has faced as a result of her endometriosis "really has ruined relationships".

Demi opened up about endometriosis on the third episode of "Love Is Blind UK." Credit: Netflix

These life-altering symptoms of endometriosis are so important to talk about with a partner, and receive support for. It’s a well-known factthat endometriosis is also under researched– making its representation in TV shows even more crucial for raising awareness and demanding change.

"Latest research shows that only 54 percent of people know what endometriosis is," Faye Farthing, head of communications at Endometriosis UK, tells Mashable. She adds that this directly impacts diagnosis times and awareness of symptoms — both crucial to improving treatment for and day-to-day experiences of the disease. 

Specifically, Love Is Blind UK’s spotlighting of endometriosis and how it can impact people's experiences of dating and relationships is a fantastic step forward for raising awareness. But it's also crucial for teaching people without it about the romantic and intimate difficulties that people with endometriosis may face.

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Dating with endometriosis can mean challenging conversations

"Endometriosis can have a significant impact on people’s relationships," Farthing says. "It can be hard to start a conversation about your condition to a new partner, and it’s encouraging that this will be spotlighted on the new series of Love Is Blind, to show how open discussions can take place and the importance of highlighting your needs with a partner." 

"This can be a really difficult conversation, and can be challenging for both the person with endometriosis and their partner."

SEE ALSO: Orgasms trigger my endometriosis: The sex lives of people with endo

She adds that many with endometriosis report feeling isolated by their condition, feeling "frustrated at having to cancel social plans, and having an understanding partner is so incredibly important for those with the disease".

"Dating with endometriosis isn’t always given the spotlight it deserves and shining a light on this not only helps remove the taboo associated with the disease and its symptoms, but also hopefully highlights how to have an open dialogue with a partner and the importance of being in a supportive relationship," Farthing says.

“Dating with endometriosis isn’t always given the spotlight it deserves."

Another fantastic example of endometriosis representation in pop culture right now is author Coco Mellors’ latest novel Blue Sisters. Published in May 2024, it explores the lives of four sisters — one of whom sadly passes away (before the novel even starts, so don’t worry, no spoilers) after an accidental overdose from attempting to medicate the pain from her endometriosis. Mellors has spoken openly about her reasons for incorporating endometriosis so centrally into a storyline — and it has everything to do with representation and spotlighting the need for more time and money to be put into women and non-binary people's health issues.

"In my first book, I have a character that has epilepsy, and that was because my best friend has epilepsy and I have never seen in any work someone dealing with the realities of it in a way that wasn't defining their life, but it was in their life, and I felt endometriosis is quite a similar disease in some ways," Mellors told Cosmopolitanin an interview. 

"It's just such an example for me of how male-centred the medical industry still is today, and how much women are expected to endure physically. It's a kind of lonely disease to be living with and I thought it felt true to this world that one of the sisters would have [endometriosis]."

It’s never been more important that endometriosis is talked about and recognised as a serious legitimate health condition — and watching storylines on TV and reading books about people and characters dealing with it can only further emphasise this.

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Don't call it "benign"

Endometriosis UK is campaigning for healthcare professionals to stop using the word "benign" when referring to the disease, as well as other gynaecological conditions. The term can mean very real, often debilitating symptoms are underestimated, deprioritised, and ignored. Calling endometriosis "benign" stinks of medical misogyny, and lessens the perceived impact of diseases that affect so many women and non-binary people. 

We see the impact of the lack of awareness around endometriosis in author Sally Rooney’s debut novel Conversations With Friendsand its TV adaptation. Protagonist Frances (played onscreen by Alison Oliver) has endometriosis, and struggles to be diagnosed and treated appropriately throughout the series. Frances experiences debilitating pain and excessive bleeding that she dismisses as "just her period". Then, when she does consult a medical professional, she is accused of having unprotected sex and is dismissed with a prescription of the contraceptive pill — a common tale. Eventually, she is diagnosed with endometriosis, but not after some wrong turns lead to her suffering from her symptoms for longer. Conversations With Friendsperfectly encapsulates the importance of representing the realities of misdiagnosis and/or delayed diagnosis when it comes to conditions like endometriosis.

"Endometriosis care urgently needs to improve," Farthing says. "Not only does diagnosis in the UK take on average eight years and 10 months, but gynaecology waiting lists in England have grown faster each month than any other elective specialty in percentage terms and are now over double the size they were prior to the pandemic."

Campaigning for change, Endometriosis UK is calling for the UK government to commit to an average diagnosis time target for endometriosis, to recognise it as a common and chronic disease, and adjust menstrual wellbeing education to reflect this. More than that, more research and funding is needed "as part of an investment into women’s health" to discover better treatment, pain management, and a cure.

Representation of endometriosis on TV and in books...can help to raise much needed awareness to demand change. 

The sharing of endometriosis stories, on screen and otherwise, can help create real change, Farthing says. "We often hear from patients who have felt ignored and dismissed, and seeing other people’s experiences can be incredibly validating, and shows that you are not alone in what you are experiencing and that this is a disease that can have a huge impact on people’s lives."

So, representation of endometriosis on TV and in books — whether it’s on Love Is Blind UK, a bestselling novel or another form of pop culture — can help to raise much needed awareness to demand change. 

"Onscreen stories of endometriosis can go a long way in improving public awareness," Farthing says. "Driving public awareness is key to ensuring everyone recognises the symptoms of the disease and how to seek help."

How to watch:Love Is Blind UKis now streaming on Netflix.

Topics Health Netflix