【This Isn't The Twilight Saga: New Moon: The XXX Parody】

ORLANDO -- There are This Isn't The Twilight Saga: New Moon: The XXX Parodyfew words that can properly convey what it's like to stand on the deck of a Star Destroyer for the first time in your life. "Awesome" barely begins to cover it.

That experience was part of a sneak peek at "Rise of the Resistance," which Disney says is the most ambitious theme park ride it has ever created. Galaxy's Edge, the Star Wars theme park which opened in Disneyland at the end of May, premieres its Orlando location Wednesday. Both parks offer just one ride for now, though it's a doozy -- the chance to pilot the Millennium Falcon.

"Rise of the Resistance" doesn't open in Galaxy's Edge until December 5 in Orlando and January 17 in Anaheim, but we got one of the earliest advance looks -- no cameras allowed, alas -- at some of its locations.

The idea behind Galaxy's Edge is that you're transported to the rocky jungle planet of Batuu, in the Star Wars sequel trilogy era, at an outpost with both a First Order presence and a "secret" Resistance base outside town.

Entering the latter, visitors will encounter in short order the droid BB-8, a 3-D hologram of Rey (Daisy Ridley) asking them to join the Resistance and meet General Organa, and a message from Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) advising them that he's ready to accompany them off-world.

You then step into an outdoor boarding area featuring Dameron's signature black X-Wing -- engines still steaming, a Poe-like helmeted figure hovering in the cockpit. Ahead is the Resistance transport, another fully-realized spacecraft, conveniently placed next to an apparent mountainside.

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No seats inside the vehicle; it's more of a troop transport kind of deal. Which means you get to hang on to the overhead bars and live your best Jyn Erso-from-Rogue One moment.

Via Giphy

One series of shenanigans later, the transport is captured by the First Order. Via some rotational trickery, visitors exit the same way they came in -- only to find they're on the deck of a Star Destroyer.

This reveal was easily the most impressive moment of the tour. Long, deep lines of First Order stormtroopers are there to greet you in front of the star-filled hangar exit. It's an extremely arresting visual, in the sense of "Oh crap, they're arresting us." It takes you a while to realize the costumes are all empty.

There's no visual trickery involved in the vastness of the Star Destroyer. The hangar is vast, the ceiling several stories away, and suddenly it becomes clear why Disney had to put mountains on the edge of Batuu.

SEE ALSO: Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge proves Disneyland is made for childless millennials

"It has the scope and scale you expect from the Star Wars universe," said Scott Trowbridge, the Imagineer who manages the Star Wars theme parks, as he showed us around the Star Destroyer.

I had a stupid grin plastered on my previously jaded face

From that point forward, visitors are taken on their second transport of the experience -- a six-person vehicle, apparently free-roaming the floors of the Star Destroyer, piloted by a rogue First Order droid (known to nerds as an R5 unit). After a series of scrapes, the R5 delivers you to an escape pod, one reminiscent of the tourist transport in Star Tours.

This pod will literally drop, Tower of Terror-style, to properly convey the sickening lurch of falling out of the Destroyer. At some point, Kylo Ren will attempt to gain access to the pod, and a red lightsaber slices through the ceiling. The jury is still out on how realistic that looks, however, as it wasn't part of our preview.

Nevertheless, what we saw was enough that I had a stupid grin plastered on my previously jaded face as I left "Rise of the Resistance." Sometimes, even the most cynical Star Wars fan -- one who has no particular love for the Disney Parks experience -- can feel like a kid again.

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