Where were you on Oh Mithe day of the world's first giant robot duel?
Maybe you were working at your desk, brushing your teeth, labouring over your tax return, ironing the perfect pleat in tomorrow's pants.
Meanwhile, giant robots were chainsawing other to shreds in a Japanese shed.
SEE ALSO: Robotics expert Dr. Ross Mead reveals the truth about your favorite movie robotsThe world's first giant combat robot duel just happened on Tuesday, Oct. 17, pitting America and Japan against each other in a Twitch-livestreamed battle for the ages.
Representing the United States, two epic robots from MegaBots Inc., founded by Matt Oehrlein and Gui Cavalcanti. Representing Japan, pilot Kogoro Kurata from Suidobashi Heavy Industry. The challenge was issued two years ago, on one condition: Japan wanted to fight hand-to-hand combat. Oh. Man. Challenge accepted.
Where was the battle for brutal, violent glory held? Here, in the delightful Japanese countryside:
Behold... the STEEL MILL. Dun dun dun.
"Originally designed to pour steel and now, we are going to break it." Yeah, commentator Mike Goldberg, you said it.
So, before we get to the battle, be it known these are the heaviest combat robots on Earth.
First up, meet Iron Glory, or MK2 from USA's MegaBots Inc. Sitting at six tonnes, this guy sports a casual six-foot cannon and 20x missile launcher. The commentators referred to the robot as having a "Western-style" of combat (read: massive paintball gun). Do not mess.
Then, we've got Kuratas, from Japan's Suidobashi Heavy Industry, with a 18-mm submachine gun, articulating hand and "Ichigeki Fist," which showed its well-clenched might in the duel. According to the commentators, this guy is more agile and speedy, perfect for taking down giant robots with hand-to-hand combat.
So, there are three ways to win:
1. Robot knockout.
2. Robot disabled.
3. Pilot surrenders.
Got it?
Iron Glory and Kuratas took their positions at either end of the Steel Mill, with Oehrlein and Cavalcanti, and Kurata inside the cockpits.
"Shoot the big guns as quickly as possible," was USA's main strategy, according to Oehrlein. And that they did, although, it didn't quite do the trick.
Kuratas took out Iron Glory in one big punch.
Look at the future, look at it:
And from another angle, for funsies:
If you're needing new pants, it's because you're looking ata giant freakin' robot punching another in the face and knocking it out cold.
Team USA were a little bummed, but they had a little somethin' somethin' up their sleeve...
Behold, EAGLE PRIME.
Let's break it down.
MegaBots' Eagle Prime is a bottom heavy tank of a robot, weighing 12 tonnes and sporting a double barreled cannon, 600 pound fist and oh, a four-foot chainsword. Buckle up, folks.
With the pride of two nations on the line, and the Twitch message thread erupting into sheer, unbridled madness, the second duel began.
A longer, more gruelling battle, Eagle Prime versus Kuratas brought all the strategy to the yard.
Eagle Prime struck fear into the hearts of mortals by knocking over a few barrels with its chainsword —designed to cut through rock! Yay! There are humans inside these things, remember!
Kuratas fired back with its sub-machine gun, capable of 2000 paintball rounds per minute, and even deployed a drone, which Prime swatted from the sky.
After a big shoving match, a crushed robot hand and a casual reset after the two bots became stuck, Eagle Prime got that chainsword ACTIVATED MUTHAFLIPPAZ. That thing is ON.
Wait, what's happening here, the hosts are... getting out of the way! This is completely out of control! This is a Tuesday!
Team Megabots' Eagle Prime won the duel after brutally hacking away with that chainsword. Seriously, these guys really got in there.
So, at the end of the day, Team USA and Japan drew 1-1, in the world's first giant robot duel.
"I think it's time to make this a sports league," said a victorious Cavalcanti.
Agreed. We can breathe out now.
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