Yes,American classic porn movie Hot Lunch (1978) yes, there are spoilers here. Don't be a dummy and read below this if you don't want a mild spoiler on Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
While everyone's fighting over whether or not Star Wars: The Last Jediis good, no one's talking about how it contained the mostbizarre moment in the franchise's history.
There is one tiny, COMPLETELY unnecessary scene near the beginning which is SO DAMN STRANGE, that I couldn't help but be revolted. It stuck with me through the entire two and a half hours of that film and I still haven't shaken it.
SEE ALSO: Here's a breakdown of the beloved 'Star Wars' character, the porgOf course, I'm talking about when Luke Skywalker actually milkssome weird creature.
I'm going to take you through this little scene beat by beat. And because there aren't any (legal) stills or video of the movie out there yet, I decided to draw them for you so we can relive this terrible experience together.
Please note: I've only seen the movie once and these drawings are based completely on my memory. But don't worry, it was burned into my mind, so I'm sure they're pretty accurate.
"Oh what's that in the distance?" I thought at the time. "Some other little creatures on this island, huh? That's neat. They're just trying to put some life on this desolate island. I get it. Sounds great. I'm on board. This is all good."
I remember blinking a few times as you see the front of these beasts. They're just lounging around, leaning back against the rocky outcroppings of this deserted island. OK.
But you are very clearly supposed to take note of the large udders that hang off of them. I didn't let it faze me. I just thought it was a weird design choice. I was ready to simply watch Luke and Rey walk past them and on to less strange stuff.
I was wrong.
Because then Luke walked up to one of them...
As Luke got right up to the thing, it became horrifically clear what was going to happen. He milked the udder and got himself a whole cup full of green milk.
I don't understand the necessity having this shown in the movie. I guess he's known to like milk, but this seemed oddly graphic.
Look, I'm not a vegan, but I have always been pretty grossed out at the thought of drinking milk from another species that is actually meant for that species' offspring.
Also, it's so strange how nonplussed this creature was, looking down at the second-to-last Jedi all like, "Ya, sure. go ahead and take my milk. That's chill."
What. was. happening.
Stooped over his beverage, Luke then messily splashes some towards his mouth. He looked like a drunken pirate with bad posture trying to ward away the DTs with more sloppy grog. He then peered up at Rey with a challenging, seedy look.
Another beat of this bonkers scene that I didn't get at all. Why does he look at Rey with such intensity as he downs his green milk with all of the grace of a 3 year old? WHY?
This might be where my memory is the most incomplete. I remember that this thing turns and looks behind it, and I'm pretty sure it's at Rey.
And it has this super weird little smile in my head. Which maybe it didn't.
But it still was a knowing look that made the whole thing take an even weirder turn. Like this thing maybe enjoyswhat's going down? Idk.
How sentient is this thing??????
This is the weirdest part about the whole affair. I completely imagine that it was supposed to be this gross-out joke moment. In which case, the camera would cut to Rey and she would have a grossed-out face. The audience would chuckle or whatever.
Instead, after having that creature (maybe) look at her, she turns away from the scene and has a face that can only be described as embarrassed or ashamed. She looks like she's walked into something super private (Luke Skywalker milking some big thing that probably enjoys it), and feels sorry for having done it.
Why is that exactly? What was going on there? Why did Luke look at her so pointedly? Why did the creature? Why did she look embarassed for the both of them? What the fuck was going on?
It. 👏 Is. 👏 So. 👏 Damn. 👏 Weird.
It hasn't been written about a lot, but there are a few takes that think it's an Easter egg. They claim that it's a call back to the blue milk that Luke first drank on the moisture farm on Tatooine in A New Hope.
I call bullshit. That stuff is supposed to be Bantha milk, and Banthas were those big, hairy, horned quadrupeds from Episode IV, not those blubbery, long-necked loafers from The Last Jedi.
Mashable's own Chris Taylor contends that it's a moment that is supposed to signify that Luke is once again an orphan boy on a desolate space where the milk is now green instead of blue. Sure. But it didn't land for me like that in the slightest.
I still think of it as a very poorly executed joke, and the mixture of reactions in my audience proves that I wasn't alone. There were some light chuckles, some "yuck"s, and at least one person squirming uncomfortably in their seat (me).
Clearly, this is just a moment that missed the mark in a number of ways, but while it failed to get the intended reaction, it succeeded in becoming the weirdest moment that has ever been seen in a Star Warsmovie.
Topics Star Wars
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